Stanford 20/20 for 20 - Lock up your WAGS

After a few months of petty politicking and self-righteous balderdash, we are only hours away from an event which will change lives and possibly haunt others for years to come. The Stanford 20/20 for 20 promises US $1 million to each player in the winning team, and precisely zilch for the losers.

Some of the 22 players on Saturday night will have been plucked from relative obscurity a few months ago, and have hit form at precisely the right time in history to justify their inclusion in this match. Others have been less fortunate, with pure bad luck conspiring against them - if England win, James Anderson will surely be looking on in envy at Matt Prior's upgraded Porsche, while he is doling about in an S-Class. Poor sod, he'll now only get US $250,000 as a squad member - if England win. Ryan Sidebottom also has legitimate grievances, with an ankle injury towards the end of the summer allowing the likes of Andrew Flintoff, Stuart Broad and Steve Harmison to reclaim their places in the side. This is quite a travesty, considering just how much Sidebottom has been feted for his pure hard work and sheer determination over the years in the county circuit, just to get in the England side.

Both Anderson and Sidebottom have been loyal servants and consistent performers for England over the past year, and it must be fairly galling to see the likes of Graeme Swann (will only be playing because the pitch will be taking plenty more spin than usual) and Luke Wright (not batted or bowled in either warm-up match so far) usurp them in the side. Spare a thought for Dimitri Mascarenhas, whose bowling would have come in very handy on these sticky wickets. With the bat, he is an undoubted match-winner. He has the experience, and was the only English player to feature in the Indian Premier League this year. It is a total farce that Mascarenhas has not made the squad; sickening when you see that Alistair Cook, Ian Bell, Luke Wright et al. are apparently more deserving of a place in the squad than him.

This is Saturday night entertainment like we've never seen before. An unwitting twist on reality TV, the Stanford game will have a huge impact on all involved in years to come. Yet the corporate sleaze, player tantrums and media circus has been far more than expected this week, in the wake of the 'Lapgate' affair. Head honcho Sir Allen Stanford apparently beckoned a few of the English WAG's to sit with him, which would usually be fine and dandy...except that Matt Prior's pregnant wife Emily ended up sitting on his lap.

Apparently, Prior's face dropped when he saw Emily on the mega-screen in the ground; she'd really piled on the pounds. The subsequent outrage and 'holier than thou' attitude from certain sections was incredible. Whenever faced with a dilemma over whether to make a fuss over nothing during their sojourn in the Caribbean, the English players should have been advised to refer to the 'Who's your daddy?' mantra. The answer to this rhetorical question is of course, Sir Allen Stanford.

Keep mum and play along. Hell, even if he offers a real-life indecent proposal, at least pretend to consider it. In fact, do whatever you want, just don't slap him in the face before his cheque has cleared.

Both teams have won both of their warm-up matches against Trinidad & Tobago and Middlesex so far, although some performances have been less than convincing. The pitches in all games have seen inconsistent bounce, subcontintental spin reminiscent of Eden Gardens, Kolkata, and horrifically slow outfields. This is not forgetting the unusually low floodlights which have severely impaired catching and fielding. Therefore, I expect this game to be low-scoring, with the first innings total in the region of 140-150.

England and Stanford Superstars are relatively evenly matched, although England are severely handicapped at the top order with the presence of Matt Prior and Ian Bell, who are consistent only in their struggle to edge their strike rate over 100. It is baffling as to why they are being trusted with such important roles in a million dollar match - I certainly have not spoken to anyone so far who would trust Bell/Prior with winning them a million dollars at the top of the order. Owais Shah and Kevin Pietersen are England's trump cards with the bat and will be relied on to clear the boundaries during the latter stages. The bowling for both sides is fairly strong, with West Indies likely to play three spinners in Sulieman Benn, Dave Mohamed and Chris Gayle.

Overall, it's hard to find value in this match with the two teams evenly poised. Everything will come down to the fine details, and this is where both teams can claim to have an edge. Whereas England are a well-knitted and organised unit under Kevin Pietersen, West Indies rely more on the individual performances of players to win them matches. However, the West Indies have been preparing earnestly at a six-week training camp, just for this match, and so it can be presumed that every base has been covered for them.

I was hoping for some interesting side markets but I have already mentioned the 'dropped catches' bet in a previous article and nothing else is tempting me into having a bet here. There is no doubt that England are the more clinical side but this is a one-off match, designed for individual brilliance to take centre stage, and the Stanford side have more than enough pure talent in the likes of Chris Gayle and Ramnaresh Sarwan. My simple advice would be to sit back, relax, and watch the hopes and dreams of 22 cricketers - and their WAGS, if not being consoled by Sir Allen Stanford himself - get built, destroyed and built again before your very eyes...ad nauseam, for a tad over three hours.

Nishant Joshi