What the Ruck - VI

By DC

I never have, nor will I ever claim to be a great literary genius, the only time I get close to the works of the greats is when they make a Hollywood blockbuster or they turn it into a cartoon with cats and rats and mice and such like. However I do remember my school days, all those many years ago – I remember George Orwell and Animal Farm – a classic, four legs good two legs bad and all that. But as with most things in this world I have my own spin on that quote – oval ball good round ball evil, sneaky, nasty ... just plain wrong – I have never been sold on the dark side, the evil that football brings into the world. However, and I never thought I would admit this, but rugby could learn a hell of a lot from it’s evil step sister and that was seen quite clearly this last week – Haskellgate, the embarrassment.

We all know how it works, the tug between Club and Country – the battle between the nation and your pay packet – when the call of the masters voices is drowned out by the national anthem. This week saw the temper tantrums of Stade Francais, stamping their feet and demanding the return of Haskell from England, like the ranting of that annoying kid from number 15 screaming for his ball back when it ends up in Old Man Gilbert’s back yard. The Stade hierarchy claimed that the England management had poor James locked in the Tower of London or in the deepest darkest dungeon of HQ – shackled against his will like the Man in the Iron Mask.

The French club raged against the stubbornness of Martin Johnson, the only outcome was that the French got redder and redder in the face and the farce grew and grew until it ended up a media fiasco. The “we want him”, well “you can’t have him”, but “we need him”, but “you can’t have him” – the ping pong of stupidity bounced back and forth over the English Channel like swimmers during Sports Relief. James Haskell tucked away in the corner while the parents fought over his weekend custody rights – he has no real way of winning – turn his back on the Country’s needs or turn his back on the wage paying owners. Haskell is a class player and he was sorely lost as Toulouse put Stade to the sword this last weekend – saying that even Haskell would have been pushed to stop the Red Machine rolling over the Parisians. Haskell has been on fire for the French club this season, always offering himself as a ball carrier, a line breaker whilst being a brutal thug in defence, teams need their key players their leaders to hold the line

Suffered from the tug between Club and Country James Haskell

when the enemy are at the gates however even with an entire back row of Haskell clones the Pink Power battlers of Stade would have struggled to keep within single figures of the rampaging Red Army.

Ok, you’re all asking what this has to do with the evil round ball – and what could that same evil round ball teach us. Simple, gamesmanship; the ability to say a thousand words in one action the ability to speak without actually saying anything, the statement that extends the helping hands only for them to hide the two fingers. We have seen it hundreds of times in football the master of the PR game – the mid week pointless international riddled with last minute withdrawals with little knocks and niggles only for the same players to take to the field for their club for following week. How many players have not been available for those International trips to Assendofnowherestan because of a tight hamstring or a suspect ankle – we all know that those injuries were about as real as (C) Ashley Coles faithfulness. In the football world the struggle between club and country is handled, managers still stick two fingers up at each other but they do it in a professional way. Little white lies take the place of media fuelled slagging matches it might not be honest but at least it makes life easier for the player. How hard will it be for Haskell returning to the club that pays him in big cash filled sacks, his team mates knowing that when the big game came calling he was hiding behind his national coach?

So what could have big MJ and the England coaching staff done differently – hell they could have taken a leaf from the book of Ferguson chapter 6 verse 12 – 17 and I quote “ and low... it is a clear fib it is only a little ickle fib, the kind of fib that you tell when the misses asks about those new Jeans!” What should MJ have said – simple “unfortunately James took a slight knock to his shoulder in training”, there you go story done, headline written international incident put to bed, no need for tantrums and feet stamping, no need for pre pubescent sulking.
Professional rugby is still in its infancy, it has a long way to go, but the markers and the sign posts are already there – all rugby has to do is follow them. Don’t create more problems, the game has enough of them already, make the road ahead a little smoother – reduce the stupid mistakes and play a better media game. I am not telling people to lie, no kids lying is wrong, I am just telling people to be more media sharp, more media aware – play the spin game.

DC